My friend, Ke, told me that in China, it is common for graduating students to write their own letters of recommendation in the names of their professors.

If I got to write my own recommendation in the name of my professor, it’d look like this:

Meng is, by far, the best student I have ever had. In fact, he is the smartest person I have ever met. It is hard to imagine someone so stunningly handsome can, at the same time, be so brilliant. I admire him so much even his mere shadow inspires me. It is my professional opinion that anybody who doesn’t hire him is an idiot. If you don’t hire him, I’ll personally beat you up.