Ke told me that in China, it’s common for graduating students to write their own letters of recommendation in the names of their professors.
If I get to write my own recommendation in the name of my prof, it’ll look like this:

Meng is, by far, the best student I’ve ever had. In fact, he is the smartest person I’ve ever met. It’s hard to imagine someone so stunningly handsome can, at the same time, be so brilliant. I admire him so much even his mere shadow inspires me. It is my professional opinion that anybody who doesn’t hire him is an idiot. If you don’t hire him, I’ll personally beat you up.