The meaning of life is not.
I knew saving the world would be impossible, but I didn’t think it’d be hard.
I have so many things to do I don’t even know what to do anymore.
I enjoy debating with myself. Everytime I debate with myself, I win.
When things are bad, better is good, but good is even better.
In the gym, nobody can hear you scream.
I’m good at being selfishly compassionate, but fail at being compassionately selfish.
What’s new with me? Just the same old same old, everything is different everyday.
I discovered I’m the most stupid person I know with an IQ of 156.
If ever you’re promised 72 virgins for blowing up a building, you should confirm their gender and sexual orientation first. Otherwise, there may be nasty surprises.
It turns out that the job of the Vice President doesn’t actually involve vice. Once I realized that, I didn’t want the job anymore.
I crack myself up sometimes. I’m glad I’m not Humpty Dumpty.
I think the God of the Old Testament had way too much fun.